Are We Dying to Create God?–Did God Die to Create Life?
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by Dan Kellum
I guess I can start to talk about why I wrote this letter. Tonight my mother gave me some old pictures. They contained my Grandfather in most, I think that’s what started this thought. I saw my Grandfather staring back at me from the other side of time. I don’t know if he thought of me whenever that picture was taken, though I cannot stop thinking of him.
I remember the way he looked, his face sometimes very stern. The way he would talk. I cannot say it was like anyone else’s. It was unique, soothing, but yet commanding. It was not southern, but it didn’t remind me of any “city- slicker’, a word, I think I learned from him.
Memories flow through me like waves of the past. It is like my grandfather has told everyone on the other side of death’s door: “My grandson is aware now. He has woke up from his reality to remember me.” I can imagine that hundred of his friends and family are around him. They are happy that someone remembers them. Someone took the time to look deep into memories to play their story again. Theirs is a story like ours. Their lives are interwoven with the “weeds of life” many of us have never had seen in our “garden of life.”
We cannot look into the past, before we were born. Nor could they look into the future, from the grave, and see how our lives are filled with knowledge they helped create through their imaginations and memories. Yet some how we are connected now.
We can experience so many other worlds of thought, so many other experiences . We can look into our crystal ball, we call a television, and watch other peoples lives, ones that never existed before, and our minds feel their imaginary emotions. Emoting that someone created from their imagination and memories.
Based off of my memories, what emotions would I create for the world to see? What memories would I create if I were to imagine? I can remember magical places ,and magical people. Of places where leprechauns live, and fairies fly high. A place where evil and good exists. A place that was created by my grandparents minds.
I can imagine that they were trying to teach me lessons they knew I was going to need in my journey threw this life. A journey both magical and terrifying at the same time. A real story were parents die and children get old. A place that no one can see until they reach for themselves.
For me, I think that I am learning my last few lessons I need to know. I too will need to teach others the lessons I have learned. It has not been easy for me, but I know it has not been hard either. My feeling are the real test of learning. Why do I feel certain emotions? Where did we get these emotions from? Did our grand parents create them in us, passed on to them from the collected emotions of their ancestor before them?
Is our emotions all intertwined together, so close that we are the same, like we all share the same life force. Are we all from the same creator , like my grandmother always taught? Is there only one beginning for us? Only one source for our emotions? One source for the love we feel? With this love comes the feeling of loss, and of pain. What can we make of this feeling of loss? Does it open up the memories we have carried so deep inside us, like a wound that could only be caused by love? Does it raise from the ether of death, those that went before us?
I am that I am
I can feel my grandfather looking at me from somewhere in time. He is alive and well, still in his prime of life, when he created the reality he wanted in this life. The image we saw when we looked at him. We could only see him through the illusion he chose to see for himself. His every choice, a ripple into the waves of time. The waves of time that would wash upon the shores of my life, helping to create the person that I am.
Was his life and his feeling that much different than that of my own. I am what he was, but yet I am what my other Grandparents where as well. It is, as if, I am all my grandparents together. It is, as if, with each new life we bring into this world, time is not leading away from itself, but moving towards its self. It is like we are all joining together as one person. Could we all be such small pieces of a greater being that we cannot see it. If I am both my mother and father, and they are a part of their parents, It would seem that we are headed towards a singe person that is made of all of us.
Are we simply creating the very one God that we all have been looking for. Could we all be fragments of the same energy, slowly coming back together all over again. Is our God created from our pain and pleasure? Is this God a reflection of all that we do, or is this the devil we see created out of our actions.
We cannot create life out of evil deeds, but we can trick our minds into believing that we can. For there can only be love, if only we take time to remember the ones who went before us and know that we are here because someone loved. Out of love, cannot come hate.
There seems to be a string that binds each and every one of us , even if we are not one now. We have been one and will be one again. This is the cycle of life that we all play a part in, so think of your future and don’t ever forget your past. We will be together again, not as individuals but as the same person. This is my lesson I learned, we are all one.
……….. Thanks you all, for all of the lessons you taught, for living life the only way you knew how. I will continue my journeys, and I will teach my knowledge to those around me until I pass through the dreams of this world and join you. Until then I will dream the dreams of this world.
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